Inane Draft Chatter

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:58 pm

Live from an unspecified-but-balmy location, EHEC.com's webcast of the 2011-12 EHEC draft... Joining in progress.

Deuteronomy Jones: ...We'll have ever so slightly delayed coverage of the 1st round, hopefully a few GMs will pop in to give their unsolicited opinions of the day's actions, and our analysts will provide instant but unfounded analysis of today's picks. Prognosticators will prognosticate, pundits will pundt, bloviators will bloviate, and if a moment of dead air appears on the horizon, we'll get Pierre McGuire out here to salivate into the mic. Due to technical problems, we were unable to start our coverage when the draft started, but we can just tell that the draft will only get more exciting after the first few picks are off the board. Let's shoot this over to Falcon George for a quick recap.

Falcon George: Well Deutes, it's only been two and a half hours, and already four players have been chosen.
Everybody, and I mean everybody, saw the first pick coming. Not a draft preview out there had MInnesota picking anyone other than Nail Yakupov, though I have heard a little birdsong that Filip Forsberg might have been number one on some lists.
That doesn't matter now. I mean, it didn't matter before, because Minnesota had Yakupov first, but...

Deuteronomy Jones: ...he's a monster!

dead air.

Falcon George: Yeah. Anyway. Yakupov, no brainer. Then we have our first intrigue of the day - a pretty strong push by Tampa Bay's Justin Cote to acquire pick number two at the last hour, you could see him cross the floor to the Ottawa draft table. He made no secret he was in the hunt for Ryan Murray, and after acquiring and then dealing seven first round picks already this season, there looked like little doubt he could get something done. Of course, when Cote actually found the Sens draft table, GM Nicolas Antonoff was nowhere to be found, having wisely fled the scene for the weekend.

A deal was on the table, but the Ottawa scouts scurried up to the podium and happily drafted Ryan Murray.

Deuteronomy Jones: A fine young man.

Falcon George: And a hell of a bowler. If any team out there didn't have Murray as the number one defenseman on the board, I... well, I don't think... that's... good.

Colorado stepped up at number three, un-molested, and selected Filip Forsberg, who's maybe not a huge step down from Yakupov. Well-rounded, Swedish, and just as NHL-ready. Should make a nice complement to last year's #3, Gabriel Landeskog.

Deuteronomy Jones: Is that a person?

Falcon George: The Dallas Stars, looking reinvigorated by GM Sean Akers, also looking reinvigorated (just add water), surprise absolutely no one by selecting Mikhail Grigorenko with the number four pick. Dallas Stars blog Defending Big D saw this one coming a long way off, which suggests they may already know too much.

Deuteronomy Jones: Like the Pelican Brief!

Falcon George: Exactly. Grigorenko's definitely one of the most talented offensive players available in the draft, though oddly enough, I saw a list this morning that had him no higher than seventh. Still, Akers telegraphed this one a mile away, and he...

Deuteronomy Jones: Manifest Destiny!

Falcon George: So we're going to take a break, and when we come back, maybe we'll have an exclusive chat with one of EHEC's General Managers, or they'll just start talking...

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:02 pm

Beautiful posts like that are what happen when we're sitting around waiting on Toronto to pick.

Commish Bub(NYR) · Post by **Commish Bub(NYR)** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:04 pm

Leafs MUST take Max Iafrate. Just because.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:17 pm

Toronto proudly selects Adam Gilmour, son of Doug Gilmour. http://adam-gilmour.memory-of.com/About.aspx

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:39 pm

That is incredibly creepy.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:00 pm

So the lesson here is don't be a douche and refuse to send a list or I'll spam you with creepier websites.

TorontoGM · Post by **TorontoGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:06 pm

Really sorry about the hold up.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:18 pm

Ok then sorry about calling you a douche, that's just Justin who is my best pal so we're cool.

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:22 pm

Deuteronomy Jones: ...Please note: if you are an existing Premium subscriber with your account set to auto-renew, then you can ignore the post…

Falcon George: We have a pick to announce.

Deuteronomy Jones: Thank the maker!

Falcon George: Toronto General Manager Mike Walters, looking resplendent in a little sequin number from Jean Paul Gaultier, has just announced the Leafs pick - Alexander Galchenyuk.

Galchenyuk is, of course, from Wisconsin, though the Russian factor was hard to ignore. I mean, you see a name like that and you think, alright already Dostoyevsky, skim, skim...

Deuteronomy Jones: Not enough kids in this draft with good ol' American names, like Newt, Mitt and Frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter.

Falcon George: That reminds me, we haven't checked in with the social media room in a while.

time passes.

Falcon George: Are we not doing that?

TorontoGM · Post by **TorontoGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:22 pm

Hahaha I am a douche for not sending a list or note.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:23 pm

Falcon George: The Dallas Stars, looking reinvigorated by GM Sean Akers, also looking reinvigorated (just add water), surprise absolutely no one by selecting Mikhail Grigorenko with the number four pick. Dallas Stars blog Defending Big D saw this one coming a long way off, which suggests they may already know too much.

The Dallas Stars organisation would like to fervently support this opinion, as it is using only the clearest, crispest Dallas spring water than Sean Akers has been able to maintain his high energy levels, flawless complexion and vaguely above-average cholesterol level. Absolutely nothing else is responsible, we swear to God.

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:49 pm

Falcon George: And just like that folks, this draft is flying by. Tim Gaw steps to the mic and... well, those are boos from the crowd. And that isn't sign language from the Caps GM.

Deuteronomy Jones: I haven't seen such a belligerent exchange since the 1981 Ashes series, when Ian Botham swatting six 6s in his innings at Old Trafford prompted raucous waffling from the Australian batsmen.

Falcon George: Gaw's selection is also well within the bounds of expectation, but I've misplaced my notes on Morgan Rielly. He's a defenseman and he's a male... about... 'yea' high... and he seems to be having no trouble making his way to the stage. I assume this will translate to a decent stride on ice.

Deuteronomy Jones: Do you suspect he might be a monster?

Falcon George: A distinct possibility. I think the board opens up quite a bit after Rielly.

Commercial break - 'But I brush twice a daahy,' 'Cheddarpedic Mattresses,' 'Forcep Warehouse'

Deuteronomy Jones: Gaaaaaaaaunce. Columbusssssssss.

Falcon George: Remember, for more of the same deep analysis, a year-long subscription to EHEC The Magazine is available for $29.95. That's uh, Cameron Gaunce? No, Brendan Gaunce, to Columbus.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:05 pm

What colour are Grigorenko's eyes? I genuinely can't tell in some of the photos of him and I want to use the Mickey Blue Eyes nickname because that shit is gold.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:11 pm

Devils select Rick Santorum!

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:41 pm

Falcon George: ...Now that we've concluded our twelve part interview with the EHEC's official draft iridologist, we can safely assume that if Mikhail Grigorenko's eyes are blue, he may in fact be a water bender.

Deuteronomy Jones: And I've finished up a tele-novella on the life of Seattle Slew, narrating the chapter in which the stalwart racehorse defeats rival Cormorant at Preakness, but has no idea what's going on, because he was a horse.

Falcon George: Seems as good a time as any to check with the draft board. The Devils are... were on the clock? When was that? Christ. Alright, the Devils select Olli Maatta, a reliable defensive defenseman with a little bit of offensive flair.

Deuteronomy Jones: I don't have a joke for this one. Fine young man. Lithesome, like a willow in the night.

Falcon George: The Panthers are on the board next, at nine, but Commissioner Adam Burke has a trade to announce. The Panthers trade the 9th overall pick to San Jose, in exchange for the 16th and 30th overall pick, and a 2nd round pick in next year's draft. Well, where's the gusto there?

And San Jose goes for probably the best player available, goaltender Andrei Vasilevski. I'd say there's only so many players in this draft that are real difference makers, premium players, and I suppose in this light, it makes sense for Florida to move down a bit, since they felt the same squeeze last year with Gibson, and jumped.

Deuteronomy Jones: So, I mean, are we done here?

Falcon George: That's only nine picks.

Deuteronomy Jones: Seems like a lot.

Falcon George:It does, doesn't it...

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:50 pm

Is it weird that I keep picturing Orlando Jones when I read what Deuteronomy Jones is saying?

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:57 pm

I moved the chat forum to the top of the forums list. After the first 12 times you scroll down, you'll realize it's not down there anymore.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:17 pm

Commissioner (CBJ) wrote:Is it weird that I keep picturing Orlando Jones when I read what Deuteronomy Jones is saying?

I was imaging Tom Jones personally. Or basically any pair of idiots from Sportsnet.

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:18 pm

SharksGM wrote:
Commissioner (CBJ) wrote:Is it weird that I keep picturing Orlando Jones when I read what Deuteronomy Jones is saying?
I was imaging Tom Jones personally. Or basically any pair of idiots from Sportsnet.

My college roommate will tell the story of seeing Tom Jones in a bar in Panama City, FL on Spring Break every day for the rest of his life.

I know I heard it a lot.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:40 pm

Commissioner (CBJ) wrote:My college roommate will tell the story of seeing Tom Jones in a bar in Panama City, FL on Spring Break every day for the rest of his life.

I know I heard it a lot.

You could say that

to hear him tell that story

it's not unusual

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:44 pm

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:15 am

Aaaaand the good pace grinds to a halt as nobody is able to find Anaheim's GM on one of California's many clothing-unnecessary beaches. Still, he's going to get Radek Faksa out of it, and there are worse results.

No, I stand corrected. Cody Ceci's highest on the CSB board. Still not half bad, but that is assuming he boosts.

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:10 am

DallasSean wrote:Aaaaand the good pace grinds to a halt as nobody is able to find Anaheim's GM on one of California's many clothing-unnecessary beaches. Still, he's going to get Radek Faksa out of it, and there are worse results.

No, I stand corrected. Cody Ceci's highest on the CSB board. Still not half bad, but that is assuming he boosts.

Teravainen was #2 European. I know NA CSB usually means a higher rank, but I literally go by the highest rank, NA or Euro, I don't care.

NA only takes precedence if same ranking for both lists.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:41 am

Commissioner (CBJ) wrote:
DallasSean wrote:Teravainen was #2 European. I know NA CSB usually means a higher rank, but I literally go by the highest rank, NA or Euro, I don't care.

Oh. Damn.

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:44 am

For future reference, he's the real-life CSB:

http://www.nhl.com/ice/draftprospectbrowse.htm

In theory, I could have taken Subban for ANA as he's technically the highest-ranked since he's #1.

Next CSB players are Collberg, Lindholm, Hertl.

Parker · Post by **Parker** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:29 am

Great, there goes my lifelong dream of a Slepyshev-Girgensons-Nejezchleb line. I was hoping to use it to force the Coyotes broadcast team into voluntary retirement (or involuntary competency-hearing-induced loonybin committal.)

Thanks a bunch, Philly.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:32 am

Parker wrote:Great, there goes my lifelong dream of a Slepyshev-Girgensons-Nejezchleb line. I was hoping to use it to force the Coyotes broadcast team into voluntary retirement (or involuntary competency-hearing-induced loonybin committal.)

Thanks a bunch, Philly.

If it helps, Girgensons is probably the easiest name to pronounce of the three and there are some fine names further down the draft order. Matia Marcantuoni, for instance.

Commish Bub(NYR) · Post by **Commish Bub(NYR)** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:36 am

DallasSean wrote:
Parker wrote:Great, there goes my lifelong dream of a Slepyshev-Girgensons-Nejezchleb line. I was hoping to use it to force the Coyotes broadcast team into voluntary retirement (or involuntary competency-hearing-induced loonybin committal.)

Thanks a bunch, Philly.
If it helps, Girgensons is probably the easiest name to pronounce of the three and there are some fine names further down the draft order. Matia Marcantuoni, for instance.

Or combine Di Giuseppe with Slepyshev and Nejezchleb -- that ought to do it.

Parker · Post by **Parker** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:37 am

DallasSean wrote:If it helps, Girgensons is probably the easiest name to pronounce of the three and there are some fine names further down the draft order. Matia Marcantuoni, for instance.

True. I still have a shot at Slepyshev-Baillargeon-Nejezchleb as well.

Parker · Post by **Parker** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:39 am

Fzowhfte drops it back to Swiaobfe! He sends it over to Isebahekf, he shoots! Oksebaydsb with the save! Qvnfied jumps on the rebound... shoots, HE SCORES!

Post by **SharksGM** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:50 am

What's so hard about Italian names? At least they're phoenetic with a reasonably familiar pronunciation key. Try Aynars Podzinsh or Jijhar Khaira.

Commish Bub(NYR) · Post by **Commish Bub(NYR)** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:03 pm

SharksGM wrote:What's so hard about Italian names? At least they're phoenetic with a reasonably familiar pronunciation key. Try Aynars Podzinsh or Jijhar Khaira.

Nothing at all -- it just doesn't flow with those other two names.

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:06 pm

I didn't go far enough down the CSB to get to Jackets 7th round pick Gianluca Curcuruto. At least I don't think I did.

Parker · Post by **Parker** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:06 pm

Exactamundo. Marcantuoni is actually a very pleasant-sounding name. I was going for the ones that sound like you're vomiting while trying to speak.

Parker · Post by **Parker** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:08 pm

Commissioner (CBJ) wrote:I didn't go far enough down the CSB to get to Jackets 7th round pick Gianluca Curcuruto. At least I don't think I did.

Nah, he's not in there.

At least we have Slater Koekkoek. His name reminds me of the theme song for Bob & Doug McKenzie's Great White North on SCTV.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:29 pm

Anybody else surprised by NJ taking two POT boosters at 12 and 13?

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:40 pm

DallasSean wrote:Anybody else surprised by NJ taking two POT boosters at 12 and 13?

Not Ceci. That doesn't surprise me one bit.

Sissons, a little bit surprised, yeah. I think, even with a boost, there are players better than Sissons. But, Ray's been in a lot of leagues and I think he knows what he's doing.

So far in EHEC, it's been a solid track record of boosters boosting. I don't know the exact numbers, but the odds are definitely in your favor.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:59 pm

Ceci went right where he should have as a 80 of, 80 con defenseman with decent defense. Sure there's a risk he won't boost but find me a better defenseman who was available.

I'm not as big of a fan of Sissons even if he does boost but snipers seem to have good value around here and even if he doesn't boost it's not like NJ's offense will suffer much.

Commish Bub(NYR) · Post by **Commish Bub(NYR)** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:00 pm

Rumor has it that the Kings actually traded up earlier today. So glad Hugo was in a rush to make that pick.

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:01 pm

Yeah, 17 picks in two days is borderline ridiculous.

If Hugo comes around, we might get to 24 by tonight, but I imagine we'll be stuck there for the night.

Post by **SharksGM** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:07 pm

Hugo traded up just so he could wait 11 hours and then trade it again to reset the clock.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:22 pm

In fairness, we're not too far off the pace. By this point (by which I mean 30 hours after the official start of the draft), we we'd just had pick #16 in 2010 and pick #17 in 2011. Then again, if Hugo can't be arsed to do it and we do hit the 12-hour mark, we'll have made 15 picks in the time 26 players were drafted in 2011 and 20 in 2010.

Either way, if I am asleep when Dallas are back on the clock, my apologies.

Commish Bub(NYR) · Post by **Commish Bub(NYR)** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:29 pm

Okay, fair that.

But it's the trading up and then going away that gets me. And he was on the boards over an hour after his trade was approved. Unless he's working another deal and waiting for that GM to show up or something.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:37 pm

Bub(NYR) wrote:Okay, fair that. But it's the trading up and then going away that gets me. And he was on the boards over an hour after his trade was approved. Unless he's working another deal and waiting for that GM to show up or something.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I still agree that it's incredibly annoying. And like I edited in, if he doesn't show up in time and the time limit expires, we'll have got through half of the first round in the time 2011 manages 26 picks.

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:41 pm

The problem is on my end and that I start the draft on a Saturday. If I do it on a Monday, everyone has their schedules and school/work and all that and then things go smoother. People do shit on weekends. They aren't around as much.

Next year, I'm starting it on the Monday following the NHL draft.

DallasSean · Post by **DallasSean** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:51 pm

Commissioner (CBJ) wrote:The problem is on my end and that I start the draft on a Saturday. If I do it on a Monday, everyone has their schedules and school/work and all that and then things go smoother. People do shit on weekends. They aren't around as much.

Eh, it's not your fault, Friday/Saturday seems like it should be a good time to do precisely because people don't have school or work.

Jets GM · Post by **Jets GM** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:58 pm

I'm so sad I didn't get to draft Ryan Murray

Jungle Cats · Post by **Jungle Cats** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 7:24 pm

We all are, particularly now that you've traded for him...

MinnesotaGM · Post by **MinnesotaGM** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 7:55 pm

Start it off live in the chatroom same time as NHL?

Virtual Jarmo · Post by **Virtual Jarmo** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 8:16 pm

MinnesotaGM wrote:Start it off live in the chatroom same time as NHL?

We'd still get held up anyway by people who couldn't make the chat and didn't send lists.